2019 brought the most powerful of change to my life and that of my family, such beautiful good news and worth sharing with the world! It's the best news of all ... and it’s not limited to just me or just my family!
Somewhere between my youngest son’s first and second birthday, something went horribly wrong. He became reactive, anxious, unruly, aggravated, irritable and not-quite-normal. For a long time I couldn’t put my finger on what was happening. I know now that it’s been referred to as the “almost-autism”. He had developed Sensory Processing issues, or like I prefer to say, reactive sensory stuff.
Many of you know exactly what I mean by that but some of you are in the shoes I wore and may have no real clue as to what the decline in coping actually is within your child. Sensory processing issues (or disorder—SPD) is a thing. And many, many children are dealing with it. As a mother, it grieved me to see my child cringe at sunlight, scream at loud noises, become enraged or spiteful at the mere look of a stranger (or his brother), even if that look was a kind face. My son was no longer living a normal life. Instead of playing at the park with other kids, he stayed by my side with his head down. Our home was filled with chaos and the constant struggle to work at finding the source of the irritation. Yet SPD is not that simple and most often the source of the reaction is completely unknown. It’s nothing specific…and it’s everything. He had chronic stomach issues. He “needed” motion and movement all the time so he rode his scooter in the house back and forth like a speeding bullet. If he went too fast and hit the wall with a knee or elbow, he took no notice of any pain. If he did cry he wouldn’t allow me to wipe his tears. He just kept going. I prayed that God would heal him, if it was His “will”. I hoped. I longed. I wanted my child back. We tried supplements, diet changes, set up “camp” by rearranging our house, schedule and life to accommodate his needs. Nothing worked.
Then I heard a new teaching one day in December of 2018 and I inclined my ear in a way that only a desperate mother aching for an answer to her child’s reactive sensory illness would. I was hungry. Starving, in fact. What I heard was the start to a LIFE CHANGE for my youngest child, and all of us. The very essence of my story is the total, complete, absolute, miraculous healing of my son. I’m here to tell you God is good. So, so good. And I believe he wants your child healed also. So I’m proclaiming this Good News from the mountaintops! And I want to share our journey and teach you how he was healed in the hope that you too can believe and receive healing, health and wholeness for your child. Your life will never be the same. Dare to imagine! For "we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us," (Romans 8:37).
We are right in the middle of the Corona Virus times (also known as Covid-19). It's a new experience for everyone alive on the planet. With negative reports bombarding our social media feeds, computers cell phones and TVs, it can be tempting to binge-watch videos and get sucked into the terror that appears to be spreading across the land, both here and abroad. Adding to the "terror" that already exists in our homes. Suddenly, the outside world seems just as chaotic as the inside world, no longer a reprieve.
But the bottom line is, you have a child or children in your home that need you. Really need you. Need you to be present. To be truly present-in the moment, right now.
And you have a choice. Faith and fear are opposites of the same thing: belief in something. What are you going to put your energy toward?
When I began to believe for healing for my son's SPD, it took intentional effort. In order to renew my mind to the possibility, I had to stop researching the negative effects of vaccines. I had to lay aside my pursuit of the US government's vaccine injury fund. I had to stop putting my trust in doctors, medicine, supplements and naturopaths to save my child. I had to stop obsessing over the wrong things.
What I started doing was obsessing over the right things. I started seeing Jesus as the savior He truly is. He took all infirmity, disease, sickness and curses to the cross and His blood covered it all. I had to surround myself with good reports and healing journey testimonies. I became hungry, gorging myself on hope until it became a living, breathing thing in my life. I walked around with my cell phone, soaking up messages and stories of victory and healing as if my life depended on it. And in so many ways, it did. But, even more importantly, my son's life, and his future, depended on it.
What do you need to STOP doing today? If you are saying YES to having a healed child...what are you saying NO to?
"Finally, [mothers], whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you." Philippians 4:8-9
Often, as we homeschool, our children's interests spark something in us that was never alive until it is awakened in them. My middle son grew a love for birds at a very young age. When we visited parks, I'd find his little one-year-old legs clumsily waddling to chase after birds who sat oblivious, feasting on grass seed. His delighted smile and innocent determination to catch them made me laugh. As he ran closer, up the birds would scatter, fanning across the sky like a splashing wave of oval polka dots. Together my son and I studied birds in books and drew many of the colored feathered creatures from all around the world using our Prismacolor pencils.
Hummingbirds, to me, are a great representation of our journey through sensory processing issues. Outside my kitchen window I have cat claw creeper vines that cover the fence and burst with big yellow flowers, sunny bells, each spring. Jubilee plants also sing out most of the year with a trumpeting orange flower. Hummingbirds of all kinds love the nectar found in these plants and visit our yard often.
For at least two years, ages 3 and 4, we allowed our son to ride his tricycle and scooter in the house, fast as a hummingbird from here to there. He needed the movement and sometimes rode with alarming speed, especially on the scooter. Because of his inability to gauge his body in time and space (proprioception), he'd sometimes bang into the large rounded corner wall of our mantle. As hard as he hit, he'd often get up and go again as if nothing happened. When I first saw this, I thought, "Wow! He's really tough. All boy." But later I realized it was much more than that. His sense of touch was not working and he did not comprehend in his mind or body the pain he encountered. For these kids, they cannot feel pain in their body due to a dysfunction with their sense of touch (tactile). The central nervous system has an inefficient processing ability to feel sensations (pain) through the skin. Contrarily, the same child can be over-sensitive to a touch and react as if they are in the most excruciating pain. Water drops on the face or head were like this for my son. He'd cry out in anxiety if even the smallest of water drops touched his face or hair. We went for months and months without washing his hair-a battle what was not worth the heartache.
My heart was aching one morning over our child's difficulties and situation when I heard something that I will never forget, "God wants you well." I did a double take and looked wide-eyed at my husband. "What?" I thought. How could the man on youtube know that for sure? Many scriptures were listed to back up that statement. It was at that moment that my hunger began to be satisfied with new truth. The atmosphere of my mind began to shift into faithfulness and a bold, radical belief that it was true. God did want my son well and, even more profound, the cross had already accomplished his healing.
1 Peter 2:24 "by His stripes, you were healed." was a phrase that my 4 year old began speaking over himself. I spoke it over him often as well, and we began to understand this amazing, beautiful truth. God's absolute healing for every disease and sickness, in all it's fullness, was already accomplished on the cross.
That simple truth radically changed not just the atmosphere of my mind, but gradually began to change the atmosphere of our home as well. Faith, combined with the Holy Spirit. Like a hummingbird, flitting here and there, the Holy Spirit began buzzing around us, sprinkling bursts of confident hope, raising our expectations of the Lord.
Found yourself Involuntarily Homeschooling all your kids, and your sensory reactive kid? That can be a tall order for someone who never signed up to do it. Here’s my input on homeschool-something in my life that initially began out of fear...but eventually continued out of passion and purpose.
Years ago, there was an awful series of news reports where teachers were doing inappropriate things with their students. I was horrified and couldn’t imagine sending my four-year-old to school at the time. So we began to consider homeschooling as an option.
After we attended a homeschool convention, my husband and I radically changed our minds as to our reason to homeschool. We realized that for us - it was God’s will.
Deuteronomy 6:6-7 “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You should teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.”
We saw that the bible painted the picture of the family always being together. So we embraced it. Furthermore, years later, we discovered that as entrepreneurs who also work from home, this is absolute truth. We are always together! When the world was "normal" (pre-corona virus quarantine) we also kept ourselves connected with a community of homeschoolers in various groups and classes. But at this time, with those bigger connections not being an option and aside from online groups, we are pressing in even more intentionally to family. We are cultivating family relationships one day at a time.
Here’s what I want you to know:
1. You do NOT have the patience to homeschool. But...you do have the grace. And You are the BEST teacher for your children. Who better knows their children than mom and dad?
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2. Teaching your children DOES NOT have to look the same as public school. You can be creative, teach to their strengths, be flexible, have fun, laugh and condense the day. Who said 8 hours of learning is the way? And for sensory reactive kids who struggle with 8 hours of sitting and listening, this time will bless them! Take lots of breaks in between learning. Let them learn while hanging upside down from the couch. If it works, run with it. Trial and error can go a long way. Be unconventional!
3. When teaching littles, allow them to learn through play! These are my favorite years and they learn so much through exploration, adventure and pure play. Incorporate play into learning. Search the topic of sensory bins and be amazed! Depending on the needs and preferences of your reactive sensory kid, you can tailor these bins to them individually.
4. Learn through experience. 👨🍳👩🔧Have your older kids do the meals. Put math and science into cooking (measurements, chemistry of combinations, etc). Make geometry part of measuring that floor you want to re-do. Use real-world as your field of learning. Does the car need an oil change? Have dad teach it!
5. There is a ton of FREE online RESOURCES. You don't NEED a text book. 📙
6. Don't have anything but paper? Consider doing NOTE BOOKING and put all your vocabulary (simple/basic definition of terms) and writing along with drawing and art in the same place (great for ANY subject: biology, geography, even math). Go on nature walks (think backyard or around the block or parks if you live in the city). Collect cool things, draw them and teach the skill of attentiveness. Start small. First sixty seconds, then five minutes, then fifteen.👀
7. There is no right or wrong way to homeschool! The beauty of homeschooling is you get to figure it out for your own family. Relax and make it special. 🦋 Take breaks, you and your children will need them. Walk away when things get hot. Step back and view things differently. Take inventory of your heart first, then your tone, your attitude, your mindset. What kind of vibe are you putting off? You help create the atmosphere in your home, will it be one of stress? Or one of positivity and encouragement... No. Matter. What.
8. Phone a friend 😀 Reach out to a more experienced homeschool mom for encouragement and support if you still feel stuck, overwhelmed or under qualified. You can do this, I believe in you.
How do I know these ways will work? Well, because I've done the opposite and have been a first hand witness of what perpetuates strife and chaos. I've focused too much on the wrong things and looked back, in hindsight, to see the better way. When relationship and connection to your child takes top priority over all the academics, you win. Every time. Love always wins and love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:8a. Love while teaching your child or learning along side your child makes you a victor and creates an experience that is formulated from the heart posture of the King. Now go, take your children and explore with them. See from child-like eyes and wonder at the Lord. He's everywhere if you take the time to see Him.
Be transformed by the renewing of your mind. That's what Roman's 12:2 says. What does that mean, exactly? Well, we live in a world that accepts sickness and disease as part of life. Society, culture, yes even Christian culture, says: "that's just the way it is; it's something we must deal with." Because of this flawed thinking about sickness and disease being a natural process in life we have to change and adjust to a different reality by renewing our minds. What reality should we live in? God's reality; a kingdom reality.
A kingdom reality and mindset believes the scriptures just as they are written. 1 Corinthians 1:20 says, "For all the promises of God in Him are Yes, and in Him Amen, to the glory of God through us." That means every promise is ours to take hold of!
Simply put: it is critical to stop thinking the way the world thinks. When my son was sick, I thought I had to strive and "do" enough good things, be a certain way, feel a certain way, believe a certain way, act a certain way. And THEN, maybe, I would have God's attention. Just maybe, once I was worthy enough, he'd heal my son.
The worst part about this mindset is that even I did not realize I had it. It was an underlying, undercover mindset that filtrated through all that I thought and felt. This mindset was like a dark thread that wove into each part of my life and relationship with God. So to change it, I made the choice to make my mind new.
New means: made or established for the first time, fresh. And "re" means again. Therefore, I had to renew (make new again and again) my mind and align my thoughts and feelings with the truth of the Word of God. Mind renewal gets us to a place of faith in which we can receive healing from the Lord.
Mind renewal is not striving. Mind renewal is a responsibility that belongs to us. Step up and renew. Then step into a new realm of faith that is birthed naturally when our mind is made new with a fresh perspective. Make your mind like the minds in the garden of Eden-before they entertained sin which set into motion the negative, self-reliant, limited thinking pattern of this world. And then welcome a transformation like you've never known before.
"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2 NIV
"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom."
2 Corinthians 3: 17 NASB
It is amazing to consider how much time I used to think about, dwell on, care for and be concerned regarding what others thought of me. Ug. It's almost embarrassing. The truth is that, when my Christian foundation was formed in a works-based church, I spent a lot of mental energy and time focused on myself. That's right. Myself. That's what having a sin-focus does. It causes us to put more weight on ourselves and what we are doing (or not doing) than on who God is on the inside of us.
Our identity gets all twisted up with the patterns of this world and a running dialogue cycles through the mind with thoughts such as: What's important to the larger group? What's popular? What's acceptable and unacceptable? What will make me stand out and be noticed (in a bad way) and what will allow me to blend in and remain unnoticed? Be accepted? This paradigm could even be seen as staying small for the sake of "humility". But this is a false humility because, you see, the entire focus is on self, which is actually the highest level of pride. Notice the ploy here. Clearly, the enemy would love nothing more than for us to remain mediocre and never bother stepping into our true identity and unique purpose in Jesus.
Once I learned of the true, loving, good nature of God, I was freed up in so many ways! I was freed to receive healing; freed to live by faith in a good God; freed to love differently (with grace and truth, not judgment and criticism--sure signs of legalism). But more than that, I was freed to go from living in obscurity to living out my destiny! To live in obscurity means to be shrouded in or hidden by darkness (which in my case meant focusing mostly on my flaws and short-comings). Obscurity is also living in a way that is not clearly seen or easily distinguished (from the crowd). As much as my heart pulled on me to fulfill a bigger purpose and dream, my subconscious drug me down and kept me insignificant.
Trust me when I say breaking away from that mentality took effort and intentionality on my part. First, I heard the word in faith and I repented (had a change of mental and spiritual attitude). Second, I studied the word exactly as written, not filtered by the voice of another. Third, in faith, I received from the Lord all of his promises, which are yes and Amen! Next, I invested in myself to be discipled, choosing mentors who knew truth and Kingdom of God principles like I had never been taught before. They confirmed our experience of the Lord's heart for healing and wholeness on this earth. Then, I learned about inner heart healing and how Jesus would meet me in all my wounds and display his love like a banner in the midst of painful memories and experiences. And finally, I renewed my mind each and every day by walking with the Holy Spirit as my trusted friend. I activly worshipped God in my home and heart. Little by little, I broke off the old, insecure, small person I had been and stepped into who God made me: a woman with a heart to help children and families, bringing them hope, encouragement and breakthrough.
So who has the Lord made you? Those gifts are there whether you turn to Him or not, yet it's undeniable that what He's given is intended to be used on this earth, to bless Him, yourself and others. Romans 11:29 says, "For the gifts and calling of God are without repentance." But He's so good that even his kindness leads us to repentence. God always makes a way to the path of your destiny.
What lies are holding you back? When you step into destiny, it happens today, now, one scary step at a time until the fear fades to nothing. Eventually, you'll become who the Lord made you from the beginning of time and look back at your old self, wondering who that was. Your life is not about your works. But it is about God's love for you and your understanding of it. The good works you'll do will come effortlessly as a genuine response to His profound love.
"For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them." Ephesians 2:10 NKJV
Walk, my friend. Walk forward, even in the pain. The movement brings breakthrough. Seek growth always, and the Lord will meet you there. He never disappoints.
I’m so grateful for my husband, Isaac, the love of my life! We had an amazing journey in 2019 and saw God work miracles. Together we stepped into this incredible place of faith, trust, hope and goodness. Just like this picture...we left the “rocky mountains” of challenges, trials and sickness behind us and walked forward in love, truth and grace! I’m so grateful for our journey, the incredible joys and victories...and the way we’ve remained united in trials and challenges. God is our binding cord! My prayer is that through your journey with me, you too can be set free in your marriage and that healing will visit your home like a soft, comforting whisper or a loud, rushing wind. However it comes, may it be the pivot point that turns your heart back to His. And his.
Most of us know the yo-yo effect of dieting: we get onboard with a healthy eating and exercise plan...then slowly drift back to our usual habits. How does the yoyo effect relate to SPD symptoms? What if you begin to see improvements in specific areas? Or what if you start seeing progressive healing, it's looking up for you and your family...and then BOOM! Minor or even major regression. Back to the freak-out mode and fits, the screaming or digestion issues. Now what do you do?
A yoyo is a toy that is bobbed up and down with intention. It is merely a thing that we hold and control with the slightest movement of a hand. My husband can do a few yo-yo tricks. There's one called "walk the dog" another called "swing set" or "rock the baby." They are fun to watch. Simply by the wind of a string, the smallest movement of a wrist or the pull of a hand, it will do something different. He learned these tricks, then practiced them over and over as a kid until he could do them well. It was like second nature.
When "symptoms" show up in your daily life that you felt had been eliminated from your child, what choice do you have? What are you to do? Take no notice. Don't give it more energy than it warrants. Like handling the yo-yo, you also are in control. When things seem to deteriorate or go backwards, you must immediately recognize the enemy is on the prowl, trying to deter you from the path of truth which you are walking. Keep declaring. Keep believing. Keep standing firm in faith. Practice every day, over and over. Make it second nature and don't give in to the wiles of the enemy. Wiles are tricks or manipulations designed to deceive you. Don't fall for it. Don't be the yo-yo. Be the master of the yo-yo. Know, understand and believe at the core of your being that what the scriptures say is true. Healing was accomplished on the cross and manifestation is coming!
Philippians 2:12-13 NIV says, "Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose."
Salvation in the Strong's concordance is defined here as: rescue; safety; deliver health. Master yourself first, keep your emotions steadfast and know that it is God who works in you to will and to act to fulfill His good purpose: health for your child!
You might be wondering how self-control and believing for healing is related. When I was cut to the heart after hearing a series of scriptures that supported that God's plan is to heal everyone and anyone, anytime, anywhere, always...it changed the trajectory of our lives. The word of the bible was immediately quickened to my heart (John 5:21). The meaning of the Greek word "quicken" means "to make alive". The word was instantly made alive in my heart and I mixed it with faith (Hebrews 4:2), believing that my son would receive the healing already paid for on the cross (1 Peter 2:24).
Yet that healing didn't manifest right away, even though I adamantly believed for it. Nothing, except perhaps faith, is actually required. When my son's ears were still bothered by noises, my response to his reaction had to change. It was a "requirement" (that I put on myself) in order for my faith to stand firm. An action step, if you will (James 2:24). When we walked into a grocery store with fluorescent lights or outside into the bright sun and his eyes were bothered, I "required" myself to throw out my fears and worries. When he was unable to have a toothbrush brush his teeth, I could no longer stress about what might happen or how things would turn out. I required myself to be controlled in my soul (mind/will/emotions). I had to on-purpose stop my thoughts from going down the usual rabbit trail of being troubled and fretting about the long-term picture.
I could no longer choose panic when he melted down over the smallest thing. I could not longer handle things the way I always did or dip down into depression. NO! I had to rise up on the inside with faith and imagine what the Lord had set out for his future. I had to see my son well on my mind's eye first.
Some ways I put my self-imposed requirement of self-control into our situation: I took deep breaths, I closed my eyes, I saw the stripes and the blood of Christ. I knew in my heart it was shed for my child. I saw in my minds eye my son's healing as done. I imagined the things we would do together and pictured it. I did not allow what was before my physical eyes to interfere with what was stirring on the eyes of my heart.
"A merry heart does good, like medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones."
Proverbs 17:22
When healing occurs, sometimes there's some catching up and redemption that needs to take place from time and abilities lost in the sickness. An amazing mentor of mine shared a principle that I had never heard as it relates to our children: capacity. As I saw some less-than-age-appropriate behaviors in my child, I began to ponder the concept of capacity.
Capacity means the ability to contain or hold; the size or extent of something; ability in an intellectual sense; to take or to grasp; ability to produce; the power of containing a certain quantity.
I remembered that one year, as I was teaching kids science, we did a project about the lungs, measuring the lung capacity of each child (how much air was in the lungs). First, we filled up a tub used to wash dishes with a small amount of water. Next, we filled an empty milk jug with water, up to the top. After that, we inverted the milk jug by placing our hand over the top and tipping it upside down into the tub of water. Lastly, tubing was placed into the opening of the milk jug and the other side was held by the child. A deep breath was taken, filling the lungs, and finally, the child blew all the air from their lungs into the tubing, taking the place of the water inside the milk jug. The water bubbled up vigorously as it escaped the lungs. The last thing we did was a measurement on the jug to see what the lung capacity of each child was (how much air they pushed from their lungs into the jug). They loved it.
So when I learned that my child had a certain "capacity" for what he could handle at any given moment, I was ready to learn how to help him grow it. The bigger the capacity, the more he could handle. So we picked one area at a time and set out to enlarge his ability to interact with people and group settings.
Step One: I began by speaking blessings over him, telling him throughout the day, ahead of time, that he was a great friend, a good listener, very responsible in the area of following directions and that he loved cooperating with other kids and teachers. I built up his capacity for faith in his Kingdom identity and the characteristics the Lord gave him already.
Step Two: I supported him as we grew his capacity by going with him into group settings where he might normally struggle. I was the backup plan. I was a visible helper to sustain him when his ability to manage himself in difficult situations was more challenging than his currently developed coping skills or abilities.
Step Three: I recognized his limitations and made a plan. When his behavior went downhill, I offered to go for a walk with him, let him eat a snack, or go get a drink of water. Sometimes just a break out of an overwhelming situation is the right remedy.
Step Four: When he lacked capacity, I realized that he needed my capacity to be big enough to contain him and the situation. That meant I had my own work to do! I had to be extra patient, calm, caring, sympathetic, insightful, and know my own limitations. At home, as we practiced, if I needed a break...I took one! The fruit of the Spirit gives us all the capacity we need, but it's still up to us to ignite that fruit in the right moments.
Step Five: We practiced this over and over, in faith. If it didn't go as smoothly as I'd hoped, we readjusted the plan, and came up with different ways to refresh and renew in any given situation. I involved others by educating them in our plan so they could also enlarge their own capacity for helping my child.
I also explained to my son what we were doing. He easily understood capacity when I demonstrated it with a balloon. My favorite scripture, which can be used for so many implications, is, "Do not be conformed to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may be able to test and approve what God's good, pleasing and perfect will is." Romans 12:2
Growing capacity is renewing the mind and setting it to do a new thing, then training the body to follow along. Like Paul says in 1 Corinthians 9:27a, "But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection..." If we bring our body into subjection, then we can bring our mind, will and emotions into subjection to the word of God also and our capacity can expand to heavens ways being brought down to earth through us (and our children)!
