2019 brought the most powerful of change to my life and that of my family, such beautiful good news and worth sharing with the world! It's the best news of all ... and it’s not limited to just me or just my family!
Somewhere between my youngest son’s first and second birthday, something went horribly wrong. He became reactive, anxious, unruly, aggravated, irritable and not-quite-normal. For a long time I couldn’t put my finger on what was happening. I know now that it’s been referred to as the “almost-autism”. He had developed Sensory Processing issues, or like I prefer to say, reactive sensory stuff.
Many of you know exactly what I mean by that but some of you are in the shoes I wore and may have no real clue as to what the decline in coping actually is within your child. Sensory processing issues (or disorder—SPD) is a thing. And many, many children are dealing with it. As a mother, it grieved me to see my child cringe at sunlight, scream at loud noises, become enraged or spiteful at the mere look of a stranger (or his brother), even if that look was a kind face. My son was no longer living a normal life. Instead of playing at the park with other kids, he stayed by my side with his head down. Our home was filled with chaos and the constant struggle to work at finding the source of the irritation. Yet SPD is not that simple and most often the source of the reaction is completely unknown. It’s nothing specific…and it’s everything. He had chronic stomach issues. He “needed” motion and movement all the time so he rode his scooter in the house back and forth like a speeding bullet. If he went too fast and hit the wall with a knee or elbow, he took no notice of any pain. If he did cry he wouldn’t allow me to wipe his tears. He just kept going. I prayed that God would heal him, if it was His “will”. I hoped. I longed. I wanted my child back. We tried supplements, diet changes, set up “camp” by rearranging our house, schedule and life to accommodate his needs. Nothing worked.
Then I heard a new teaching one day in December of 2018 and I inclined my ear in a way that only a desperate mother aching for an answer to her child’s reactive sensory illness would. I was hungry. Starving, in fact. What I heard was the start to a LIFE CHANGE for my youngest child, and all of us. The very essence of my story is the total, complete, absolute, miraculous healing of my son. I’m here to tell you God is good. So, so good. And I believe he wants your child healed also. So I’m proclaiming this Good News from the mountaintops! And I want to share our journey and teach you how he was healed in the hope that you too can believe and receive healing, health and wholeness for your child. Your life will never be the same. Dare to imagine! For "we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us," (Romans 8:37).
We are right in the middle of the Corona Virus times (also known as Covid-19). It's a new experience for everyone alive on the planet. With negative reports bombarding our social media feeds, computers cell phones and TVs, it can be tempting to binge-watch videos and get sucked into the terror that appears to be spreading across the land, both here and abroad. Adding to the "terror" that already exists in our homes. Suddenly, the outside world seems just as chaotic as the inside world, no longer a reprieve.
But the bottom line is, you have a child or children in your home that need you. Really need you. Need you to be present. To be truly present-in the moment, right now.
And you have a choice. Faith and fear are opposites of the same thing: belief in something. What are you going to put your energy toward?
When I began to believe for healing for my son's SPD, it took intentional effort. In order to renew my mind to the possibility, I had to stop researching the negative effects of vaccines. I had to lay aside my pursuit of the US government's vaccine injury fund. I had to stop putting my trust in doctors, medicine, supplements and naturopaths to save my child. I had to stop obsessing over the wrong things.
What I started doing was obsessing over the right things. I started seeing Jesus as the savior He truly is. He took all infirmity, disease, sickness and curses to the cross and His blood covered it all. I had to surround myself with good reports and healing journey testimonies. I became hungry, gorging myself on hope until it became a living, breathing thing in my life. I walked around with my cell phone, soaking up messages and stories of victory and healing as if my life depended on it. And in so many ways, it did. But, even more importantly, my son's life, and his future, depended on it.
What do you need to STOP doing today? If you are saying YES to having a healed child...what are you saying NO to?
"Finally, [mothers], whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you." Philippians 4:8-9
Most of us know the yo-yo effect of dieting: we get onboard with a healthy eating and exercise plan...then slowly drift back to our usual habits. How does the yoyo effect relate to SPD symptoms? What if you begin to see improvements in specific areas? Or what if you start seeing progressive healing, it's looking up for you and your family...and then BOOM! Minor or even major regression. Back to the freak-out mode and fits, the screaming or digestion issues. Now what do you do?
A yoyo is a toy that is bobbed up and down with intention. It is merely a thing that we hold and control with the slightest movement of a hand. My husband can do a few yo-yo tricks. There's one called "walk the dog" another called "swing set" or "rock the baby." They are fun to watch. Simply by the wind of a string, the smallest movement of a wrist or the pull of a hand, it will do something different. He learned these tricks, then practiced them over and over as a kid until he could do them well. It was like second nature.
When "symptoms" show up in your daily life that you felt had been eliminated from your child, what choice do you have? What are you to do? Take no notice. Don't give it more energy than it warrants. Like handling the yo-yo, you also are in control. When things seem to deteriorate or go backwards, you must immediately recognize the enemy is on the prowl, trying to deter you from the path of truth which you are walking. Keep declaring. Keep believing. Keep standing firm in faith. Practice every day, over and over. Make it second nature and don't give in to the wiles of the enemy. Wiles are tricks or manipulations designed to deceive you. Don't fall for it. Don't be the yo-yo. Be the master of the yo-yo. Know, understand and believe at the core of your being that what the scriptures say is true. Healing was accomplished on the cross and manifestation is coming!
Philippians 2:12-13 NIV says, "Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose."
Salvation in the Strong's concordance is defined here as: rescue; safety; deliver health. Master yourself first, keep your emotions steadfast and know that it is God who works in you to will and to act to fulfill His good purpose: health for your child!
When healing occurs, sometimes there's some catching up and redemption that needs to take place from time and abilities lost in the sickness. An amazing mentor of mine shared a principle that I had never heard as it relates to our children: capacity. As I saw some less-than-age-appropriate behaviors in my child, I began to ponder the concept of capacity.
Capacity means the ability to contain or hold; the size or extent of something; ability in an intellectual sense; to take or to grasp; ability to produce; the power of containing a certain quantity.
I remembered that one year, as I was teaching kids science, we did a project about the lungs, measuring the lung capacity of each child (how much air was in the lungs). First, we filled up a tub used to wash dishes with a small amount of water. Next, we filled an empty milk jug with water, up to the top. After that, we inverted the milk jug by placing our hand over the top and tipping it upside down into the tub of water. Lastly, tubing was placed into the opening of the milk jug and the other side was held by the child. A deep breath was taken, filling the lungs, and finally, the child blew all the air from their lungs into the tubing, taking the place of the water inside the milk jug. The water bubbled up vigorously as it escaped the lungs. The last thing we did was a measurement on the jug to see what the lung capacity of each child was (how much air they pushed from their lungs into the jug). They loved it.
So when I learned that my child had a certain "capacity" for what he could handle at any given moment, I was ready to learn how to help him grow it. The bigger the capacity, the more he could handle. So we picked one area at a time and set out to enlarge his ability to interact with people and group settings.
Step One: I began by speaking blessings over him, telling him throughout the day, ahead of time, that he was a great friend, a good listener, very responsible in the area of following directions and that he loved cooperating with other kids and teachers. I built up his capacity for faith in his Kingdom identity and the characteristics the Lord gave him already.
Step Two: I supported him as we grew his capacity by going with him into group settings where he might normally struggle. I was the backup plan. I was a visible helper to sustain him when his ability to manage himself in difficult situations was more challenging than his currently developed coping skills or abilities.
Step Three: I recognized his limitations and made a plan. When his behavior went downhill, I offered to go for a walk with him, let him eat a snack, or go get a drink of water. Sometimes just a break out of an overwhelming situation is the right remedy.
Step Four: When he lacked capacity, I realized that he needed my capacity to be big enough to contain him and the situation. That meant I had my own work to do! I had to be extra patient, calm, caring, sympathetic, insightful, and know my own limitations. At home, as we practiced, if I needed a break...I took one! The fruit of the Spirit gives us all the capacity we need, but it's still up to us to ignite that fruit in the right moments.
Step Five: We practiced this over and over, in faith. If it didn't go as smoothly as I'd hoped, we readjusted the plan, and came up with different ways to refresh and renew in any given situation. I involved others by educating them in our plan so they could also enlarge their own capacity for helping my child.
I also explained to my son what we were doing. He easily understood capacity when I demonstrated it with a balloon. My favorite scripture, which can be used for so many implications, is, "Do not be conformed to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may be able to test and approve what God's good, pleasing and perfect will is." Romans 12:2
Growing capacity is renewing the mind and setting it to do a new thing, then training the body to follow along. Like Paul says in 1 Corinthians 9:27a, "But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection..." If we bring our body into subjection, then we can bring our mind, will and emotions into subjection to the word of God also and our capacity can expand to heavens ways being brought down to earth through us (and our children)!
Sometimes our circumstances have us so stuck, our legs cemented into the concrete of the "now" and what is going on around us, it's painful.
When my son was struggling with his reactive sensory issues, one of the things that would create anxiety was the sun. The sun that God created in the blue sky. The one that our planet earth orbits. The sustaining, life-giving, bright and beautiful sun. It shines 299 days of the year here in Arizona and it was a big deal whenever we left the house.
Before we'd head out the door for his brother's homeschool P.E., I'd get the mini Dr. Seuss backpack ready and throw in several organic applesauce pouches, a bottle of water, some gluten-free crackers and matchbox cars. And we'd never leave the house without two very important things: his cardinals baseball cap and sunglasses. Two critical pieces to a successful Wednesday morning.
I don't believe that God intended the sun to be painful to some people and enjoyable to others. As a mom, it was agonizing to experience my son's squirming and screaming at the brightness. It seemed unfair.
Then I inclined my ear to the Word exactly as it's written and began to see the true love of the Father for my son. I learned that "the thief does not come except to steal, and to kill and to destroy," but the shepherd came to give life that we "may have it more abundantly." (John 10:10). I learned who the Father really is, that He doesn't give us a stone when we ask Him for bread (Matthew 7:9-11).
I started to visualize what our life would look like without the SPD condition taking over our schedule, our day to day routine, our family relationships, even our business and marriage. I started to wiggle my toes in that cemented concrete and began to imagine moving again-taking baby steps, then actually walking. Then running. What would it look like if my son (and our household) had life to the abundant? What would we stop doing? And what things would become our "new normal"? What if we left the house and forgot the baseball cap or the sunglasses? What if the torment on his eyes was changed to a happy smile and actual enjoyment of having the warm light on his face again?
I had to see it in my mind first. That's where we need to start. Bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5b). No more obsessing over the pain of being stuck in a rotten place. Get unstuck in your mind first and put on the glasses of hope. Dare to believe for something different. A radical beauty, a dramatic shift, a renewing of life that changes from cement into a flowing river of goodness.
What are the simple things in this life that are agonizing to your child? Water? Sunshine? A hug or wiping of the tears? Picture your child enjoying them, relishing them, savoring them even. And allow God to take the hope of that imagination, your mind-picture, and make it manifest into reality.
Perhaps in the near future, you will ask your child if they need a hat while they ride their bike on a bright sunshiny day. Perhaps they will tell you, "No, mom. It's okay." And take off down the street, into the sunshine, wearing the smile of victory that only God can give.
"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." Ephesians 3: NIV
I was driving today and HAD to stop and take a picture! This was in front of a friend's house. This is not just a free wheelchair. The story behind this free wheelchair is powerful! Our friend was hospitalized and had surgery. He started to get better, but then got really sick and again was hospitalized. The surgery had caused even more damage and his health was failing fast. Back and forth he went from rehab to emergency room, surgery and additional problems; the battle went on for years. He was eventually put into a total body cast. On top of all that, he was face to face with death three times! Per doctor advice, he made his will, put his affairs in order, sold his house and prepared for the worst.
But something on the inside of him never gave up. Perhaps it was that "drive" to live (after all he must have read that word on his chair every day)! He was a fighter. We encouraged him, told our story and breathed hope for healing. Testimony is so powerful.
Months later we got news that he was beginning to slowly do better. Then each and every day, his health began to improve! He was being restored to strength, healing and wholeness once again. God, in all his goodness and grace had given him a second chance to fulfill his destiny in this world and take back what the enemy had stolen (John 10:10).
I wondered, as he lay in his sick bed, failing...did he picture in his mind the day he would give away his wheelchair, cast it onto the curb without a care? Did he imagine that he'd run freely? Thrive again? Today, he's back on his own, independent, healing and FREE. Praise be to God.
This is the goodness of the Lord for your child also! Sensory processing disorder doesn't usually cause children to need wheelchairs. But it is crippling in so many ways. And it is not God's best for their life.
Envision the items you can set on the street in a box: that weighted blanket, those compression shirts, a body sock, chewy toys, gloves, noise-canceling headphones, those gluten-free noodles, the applesauce packs, etc. DREAM BIG! And know that whatever items you decide to keep after their healing comes, it will be because you want them, not because you need them.
"Then Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, “If you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed. And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”
John 8:31-32
"And the whole multitude sought to touch Him, for power went out from Him and healed them all." - Luke 6:19
"But He was wounded for our transgressions,
He was bruised for our iniquities;
The chastisement for our peace was upon Him,
And by His stripes we are healed."
Isaiah 53:5
Have you ever fallen into the "why" trap with God? Why is my child sick? Why are You doing this to me? Why won't You heal him? Why do I have to live like this? Why is everything so hard? When will you hear me? What did I do to deserve this? Why me? Why us?
Every accusatory question is like scooping dirt from a hole you're trapped in, only to let more mud and water keep you stuck in wrong-thinking, legalistic living, and religious lies. Contrary to what so many Christians believe, God does not put sickness on people to teach them a lesson. Sickness can enter into people because we live in a fallen world, because Satan has been given an inroad through sin and strife or simply through an attack of evil over the body. Many misguided Christians believe that God allows sickness, difficulties, and trials in order to grow them or grow the people around them.
In John 11:19-21, we see Martha hint her "why?" to Jesus after the death of her brother. "Many friends of Mary and Martha had come from the region to console them over the loss of their brother. And when Martha heard that Jesus was approaching the village, she went out to meet him, but Mary stayed in the house. Martha said to Jesus, 'My Lord, if only you had come sooner, my brother wouldn’t have died.'"
The implication here is: Where were you, Jesus? Why did you take so long? How could you leave us alone? Don't you love us? What did my brother do wrong that caused you to allow his death? How could you? I thought you loved us...
Fear and feelings of abandonment can penetrate our hearts and minds and cause us to be distant from the Lord, even accusing him falsely-which of course, is all part of Satan's deceptive plan. Have you ever dared to ask those questions of the Lord regarding your situation? I know I did. And if it wasn't consciously, certainly it was subconsciously.
Yet when I heard the truth that God desires health and healing and wholeness, that it is His will, the first thing I had to do was repent! I had to turn from my false belief in a punishing, punitive God, one that would cause or create suffering in my child's life as a result of some shortcoming of mine. Realizing who He really was, I repented of the belief that He had some twisted lesson to teach me. I repented of my belief that the Lord was not healing him as a result of my not being or doing enough. And I had to turn to truth and acknowledge the goodness of the Lord over my life and that of my child.
John 11:33 and 35 says, "Therefore, when Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her weeping, He groaned in the spirit and was troubled...Jesus wept."
I had to embrace the fact that God grieved with me every day that we experienced hardship and difficulty because of sensory processing issues that stole from my child's well-being and therefore stole from my family's wholeness. I had to understand the required faith necessary on my part, the faith in the goodness of the Lord, and combine it with the grace of the Lord in the finished work of the cross. I had to stop asking the Lord why and start proclaiming the good news of the gospel! Jesus carried it all to the cross, even sickness.
Once I realized that Satan comes to steal, kill, and destroy, but Jesus Christ comes to bring life more abundantly (John 10:10) I could stop asking why. Putting the blame where it belonged, I finally could see the schemes of the enemy and how they had played out in our life. Then I could embrace my loving Father and begin thanking him for his grace, the power of the cross and the health, healing and wholeness it provided for my child (1 Peter 2:24). I allowed my gratitude to overflow, put my hope in the Father's promises and I combined my faith with the loving grace of his Son. Only then, when we recognized the Healer, did we meet healing face to face!
Crazy desert weather! After a heavy, all night rain, my family and I decided to plunk ourselves smack dab in the middle of nature and experience the vastness that would swallow our minute cares. Shadowed billows of blue-grey clouds pushed each other out of the way like blow-up bumper boats on gentle sky waters. Spring in the desert is a reminder that the brown, bland, dry, hot desperate seasons are often followed by tiny blooms. We have to lower ourselves to see them, stoop modest and careful. Unassuming, we open ourselves to what we may find. Instead of the bigger picture, looking more closely brings insight and our eyes spot all of the fullness of the beauty around us: specks of yellow, fuchsia, coral buds pop and startle us into a smile.
As we ventured through the Sonoran mountains, thick with orange mud pooling and streaming in downward slopes, my husband, feeling adventurous, got a little mud on the tires. Suddenly, our 4Runner dipped violently into a steeper-than-it-appeared pond of muddy water. I prayed vehemently as he quickly reacted to the lurch of the left side tires and maneuvered us safely to the other side: up and out.
Sometimes I've viewed the mud of circumstances as just a goopy mess, scary even and capable of sucking me into it's clutches. That's what sensory reactive behavior can be like. A mess that we have to eventually clean up. But do we realize the mud of this day to day struggle is forging us into giant slayers? If we can't see it in the mud (the now), can we look past the mud, or through it? Look out to the other side and imagine what it would be like if that muddy day became less and less. What if there is something amazing on the other side of that mud puddle, waiting for us to see it first, before it appears? Or what if that mud pond that seems like it will pull us under, suddenly turns into a mud pool, and laughter fills our home again. What if...
"Faith is being sure of what you HOPE for and certain of what you do not see." Hebrews 11:1
Luke 17: 5-10
The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith!”
He replied, “If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it will obey you.
“Suppose one of you has a servant plowing or looking after the sheep. Will he say to the servant when he comes in from the field, ‘Come along now and sit down to eat’? Won’t he rather say, ‘Prepare my supper, get yourself ready and wait on me while I eat and drink; after that you may eat and drink’? Will he thank the servant because he did what he was told to do? So you also, when you have done everything you were told to do, should say, ‘We are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty.’”
I read this scripture recently and gained a new view of faith in regard to our relationship with God. He is not comparing us to servants and commanding us punitively to just have faith, it is our duty. No, in this parable, Jesus is demonstrating a drastic comparison of the lowest, bare-minimum baseline requirement for being in a relationship with the Father. We must have faith.
Why should we have faith? So we can receive our healing? Our forgiveness? Our deliverance or our answered prayers? No. None of these reasons, really. First and foremost, we should have faith because of God Himself. He is worthy of our faith. His very personality, the goodness and divine power, and love that live in Him are worthy to be honored by our faith. As an act of worship and respect, reverence and praise, the Lord shall have our faith.
His character is deserving. The scripture in Hebrews 11:6 states, "But without faith it is impossible to please Him: for he that cometh to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him." Faith is mandated as part of our responsibility to live in right relationship with the Lord.
When we have faith in the full and pure generosity and goodwill of God toward us, our children and our family, He rewards us. That's just who God is. Faith is a big deal in His eyes and He desires it from us because he loves us and hopes that we can know the fullness of His love and believe in it wholeheartedly. And as we step into faith in a good God and see who He truly is, He turns around and amazes us with glorious rewards on earth as it is in heaven: a healed child.
