Looking back, when my son would get especially dysregulated or out of control, I'd swoop him up, as gently as possible and carry him into his bedroom, legs kicking, arms flailing, loudly screaming. Just before shutting the door, our dog Curlies would obediently sneak into the chaos of triage. I'd set my son gently on the floor and encourage him to join me in our safe corner. This area was stocked with an oversized teddy bear, lots of big pillows and stuffed animals which were all placed beneath a round homemade "tent" (a large white sheet hanging from a hula hoop near the ceiling).

As I sat in the corner and waited for Xzavier to come over if he was ready, Curiles would circle around to my righthand side then plop down very close, resting his paws and chin on my thigh. My legs were stretched straight out. We had trained him to do this to provide pressure on Xzaiver's legs. After watching a video about an autistic boy who had a very skilled service dog, we decided to employ our Doodle personally for our SPD kid. 

In the end, our dog comforted me more than our son. I'd pet the super soft spot behind his ears and he'd look up at me with sympathetic eyes, eyebrows jumping as he looked from me to my son.

You may not have a Doodle to softly press on a much needed pressure point to calm and relax your body and mind. However, you do have the Holy Spirit, which God gave to each believer to comfort and encourage on the inside. May you lean into him now, like an oversized teddy bear, and find strength and solace for your soul as you work through the difficult while constantly expecting the miracle. 

"But the Helper (Comforter, Advocate, Intercessor—Counselor, Strengthener, Standby), the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name [in My place, to represent Me and act on My behalf], He will teach you all things. And He will help you remember everything that I have told you." John 14:26

Yesterday I was sitting in my office and kept hearing the hallway bathroom sink running and running-the water was full blast. 

"Xzavier! What are you doing?" I hollered to my six year old who was in the hallway bathroom.

"Washing my face, Mom," he hollered back. After another few minutes of hearing the water continue to run, I got up to see what was going on. He had a habit of washing all of his matchbox cars and even his muddied toys from the outside seasonal "mud hole" in the bathroom sink. And usually a big mess was left behind. 

What I found was my son in his bright orange t-shirt profusely washing his face. He'd plunge his small hands into the gushing faucet water, then stick his eyes in them. He'd do it again and wipe his eyebrows. And again and rub his cheeks. And again, and splash his lips and chin. I couldn't stop him; instead I sat there amazed. Then I ran to get my iphone and videotaped him. He was thoroughly enjoying himself and I laughed and asked if he wanted to go swimming. 

"I am, mom!" he said enthusiastically with a bright, wet smile. After finally drying off, we watched the video together because he loves seeing himself on camera. He smiled this slight side smile, so proud and full of delight in himself. 

I casually asked for my son's eye contact and attention and asked him if he remembered what it used to be like when he got water on his head. "Yeah, mom. I'm healed," he said, truly minimizing any real trauma memory he may yet have. 

But I remember. Any drop of water on his head created screaming. The pat on his head or brush of his hair in the wrong direction by a friendly hand was anxiety-causing. I could rarely get my lips near his cheek to give him a kiss and was completely forbidden to wipe his tears. Literally, forbidden to wipe his tears. He would tell me, "No mom. Don't touch my tears," and put his tiny hands near his eyes as tears squeezed out the sides of his eyes, lonely and uncomforted by the tender loving touch of a mother. 

Gratitude flooded over me and my message of bringing hope, health, healing, wholeness to other mothers aching for an answer for their sensory reactive kid was cemented even deeper. The story of the lepers came to my mind. 

Luke 17: 11-19 "Now it happened as He went to Jerusalem that He passed through the midst of Samaria and Galilee. Then as He entered a certain village, there met Him ten men who were lepers, who stood afar off. And they lifted up their voices and said, “Jesus, Master, have mercy on us!”

So when He saw them, He said to them, “Go, show yourselves to the priests.” And so it was that as they went, they were cleansed.

And one of them, when he saw that he was healed, returned, and with a loud voice glorified God, and fell down on his face at His feet, giving Him thanks. And he was a Samaritan.

So Jesus answered and said, “Were there not ten cleansed? But where are the nine? Were there not any found who returned to give glory to God except this foreigner?” And He said to him, “Arise, go your way. Your faith has made you well.”

I wondered if that same grateful ex-leper, after thanking Jesus lavishly, searched out his other leper friends that were in the unclean section of town. If he went running down Leper's Lane shouting, "Look what Jesus did for me! I was unclean and now I'm clean! I was sick and now I'm well! I had body parts falling off of me...and now I am restored to new! If Jesus did it for me, he'll do it for you too! He's good! He wants you well and he is willing! Find him! Go, now! Be healed!" 

I'm turning back to Leper's Lane so that you, too, may have the hope that we found. You, your child, and your family can live in freedom, also. What causes your child anxiety today that you will dare to envision them actually enjoying? The gift of the Lord is restoration of broken things. He will make them new again. He will take shadows and usher them into the light.

I remember the day I sat in the corner of my son's room, desperate tears steaming down my face, my dog's sympathetic eyes looking at me with uncertainty. My son was convulsing in an uncontrollable fit, raging and screaming on the floor. And there was nothing I could do about it. I had no idea how to reach him, to help him, even to get his attention and talk with him. I was utterly helpless and alone. One of my lowest moments in time as a mom. And I was frightened, questioning why, why why? "Why does my son have to be broken and fractured," I pleaded with God through my stifled sobs. 

Matthew 4:23 says: "And Jesus went about all Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing all kinds of sickness and all kinds of disease among the people. Then His fame went throughout all Syria; and they brought to Him all sick people who were afflicted with various diseases and torments, and those who were demon-possessed, epileptics, and paralytics; and He healed them."

The word "all" is listed five times in the above passage. In the Greek/Hebrew original language, "all" means "whole." All of the sickness, all of the disease in it's entirety was healed by Jesus. That is the kind of Savior we have. Every kind, the "whole" thing" was taken on the cross. When my son was four we began to believe for healing and I'd walk around saying, "You are healthy, healed and whole!" It became a family motto, even before the healing could be seen by us.

Recently, as I began to teach my same son fractions through play, he kept wanting to call the one, half. That was his fallback and I had to correct him multiple times. 

"No, baby, that's a whole number." Finally I began to say, "And this is the big piece, the one that is healthy, healed and whole." And he'd repeat it after me, "one-half, one-third, one healthy-healed-and-whole."

That's what Jesus can do. He can take the fractured pieces of a business, a marriage, a body, a boy and he can mend them together again. Healthy. Healed. And whole. 

When my son was sick with sensory reactive issues and chaos encircled our home, I indulged in my emotions often. I was also reactive. I allowed my overwhelm to take over at times and get the best of me in the moment through anger, frustration, desperation, self-pity and sorrow. I understand how draining dealing with the SPD behaviors/reactions can be. It lead me to weariness more often than not before I learned what God's truth was for our life. 

Feel your feelings momentarily. Even Jesus wept. But don't indulge. 

What does that mean? That means don't linger there. Don't spend days in sorrow and self-pity, wallowing. That only gives more fuel to the enemy. And trust me, he will use it against you and your family and work to create a spiraling vortex downward and away from the Lord. 

Instead, BELIEVE! Put on worship music. Listen to an encouraging message. Get out your favorite scripture note cards or spend some time in your bible finding the PROMISES of the Lord. Realize that better things are coming! This is only temporary! Lazarus was raised from the dead. Jesus wept. And then he got up, commanded the people to open the grave, roll the stone away, remove the grave clothes and welcome LIFE! 

Health, Healing and Wholeness BELONG TO YOU and your child. Jesus paid for sickness and disease on the cross! Receive that joyful news and laugh until those tears disappear. Celebrate! Life is coming.

1 Peter 2:24; John 11:35

Can I be totally transparent here? When my son was sick, I was pushed to my limit most days. I didn't think I could handle one more scream, one more time of my words falling on ears that could not listen, one more SPD-level tantrum. I was at my wits end, felt frustrated and alone. Chaos encircled our home and I thought I was trapped in it. 

Battling sensory processing disorder in your own power is utterly exhausting and completely overwhelming. I wondered what I had done to deserve this sickness over my child and what I needed to do to get rid of it. What was I doing wrong and how could I change so the Lord would act on my behalf? I wondered where my God was and why he wasn't coming to our rescue. I secretly (even from myself) questioned his goodness over my life. It wasn't until later that I realized it, but my trust in God had failed somewhere along the line.

Religion had veiled my vision of the true God of the bible. Thankfully, my eyes were opened when I heard the right teaching of the Word. I was able to see the miracle-working power of the Lord today in the lives of people everywhere! Once I saw it, it was so clear and so obvious. Why can we believe all the supernatural amazingness of the bible ... but then disbelieve that these same miracles, signs and wonders are for us? Now. In this lifetime. For this situation. You. Your child. 

This good God is your father. He wants your heart. And he wants to regain your trust. What you're experiencing is not from God, but from the thief (John 10:10). The bible says we will be persecuted and the enemy works your mindset. If he can derail us early on in our Christianity and get us to believe the ultimate lie of a limited God, a God who may or may not choose to heal, well, then the enemy wins. We still have the victory of heaven, but in this life, on earth, he conquers us and strips the power that the Lord has put inside of us (Ephesians 3:20) to act according to God's word and have life to the abundant now (1 John 4:17; Matthew 6:10). This is the promise for his beloved.

"Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ."                                    2 Corinthians 10:5 KJV 

I am contending for you. But, much, much better than that. Jesus Christ already won the victory. 

Put your eyes on Jesus and when you feel like you're at your wits end...push through to the other side of faith and freedom!