Often, as we homeschool, our children's interests spark something in us that was never alive until it is awakened in them. My middle son grew a love for birds at a very young age. When we visited parks, I'd find his little one-year-old legs clumsily waddling to chase after birds who sat oblivious, feasting on grass seed. His delighted smile and innocent determination to catch them made me laugh. As he ran closer, up the birds would scatter, fanning across the sky like a splashing wave of oval polka dots. Together my son and I studied birds in books and drew many of the colored feathered creatures from all around the world using our Prismacolor pencils.
Hummingbirds, to me, are a great representation of our journey through sensory processing issues. Outside my kitchen window I have cat claw creeper vines that cover the fence and burst with big yellow flowers, sunny bells, each spring. Jubilee plants also sing out most of the year with a trumpeting orange flower. Hummingbirds of all kinds love the nectar found in these plants and visit our yard often.
For at least two years, ages 3 and 4, we allowed our son to ride his tricycle and scooter in the house, fast as a hummingbird from here to there. He needed the movement and sometimes rode with alarming speed, especially on the scooter. Because of his inability to gauge his body in time and space (proprioception), he'd sometimes bang into the large rounded corner wall of our mantle. As hard as he hit, he'd often get up and go again as if nothing happened. When I first saw this, I thought, "Wow! He's really tough. All boy." But later I realized it was much more than that. His sense of touch was not working and he did not comprehend in his mind or body the pain he encountered. For these kids, they cannot feel pain in their body due to a dysfunction with their sense of touch (tactile). The central nervous system has an inefficient processing ability to feel sensations (pain) through the skin. Contrarily, the same child can be over-sensitive to a touch and react as if they are in the most excruciating pain. Water drops on the face or head were like this for my son. He'd cry out in anxiety if even the smallest of water drops touched his face or hair. We went for months and months without washing his hair-a battle what was not worth the heartache.
My heart was aching one morning over our child's difficulties and situation when I heard something that I will never forget, "God wants you well." I did a double take and looked wide-eyed at my husband. "What?" I thought. How could the man on youtube know that for sure? Many scriptures were listed to back up that statement. It was at that moment that my hunger began to be satisfied with new truth. The atmosphere of my mind began to shift into faithfulness and a bold, radical belief that it was true. God did want my son well and, even more profound, the cross had already accomplished his healing.
1 Peter 2:24 "by His stripes, you were healed." was a phrase that my 4 year old began speaking over himself. I spoke it over him often as well, and we began to understand this amazing, beautiful truth. God's absolute healing for every disease and sickness, in all it's fullness, was already accomplished on the cross.
That simple truth radically changed not just the atmosphere of my mind, but gradually began to change the atmosphere of our home as well. Faith, combined with the Holy Spirit. Like a hummingbird, flitting here and there, the Holy Spirit began buzzing around us, sprinkling bursts of confident hope, raising our expectations of the Lord.
Be transformed by the renewing of your mind. That's what Roman's 12:2 says. What does that mean, exactly? Well, we live in a world that accepts sickness and disease as part of life. Society, culture, yes even Christian culture, says: "that's just the way it is; it's something we must deal with." Because of this flawed thinking about sickness and disease being a natural process in life we have to change and adjust to a different reality by renewing our minds. What reality should we live in? God's reality; a kingdom reality.
A kingdom reality and mindset believes the scriptures just as they are written. 1 Corinthians 1:20 says, "For all the promises of God in Him are Yes, and in Him Amen, to the glory of God through us." That means every promise is ours to take hold of!
Simply put: it is critical to stop thinking the way the world thinks. When my son was sick, I thought I had to strive and "do" enough good things, be a certain way, feel a certain way, believe a certain way, act a certain way. And THEN, maybe, I would have God's attention. Just maybe, once I was worthy enough, he'd heal my son.
The worst part about this mindset is that even I did not realize I had it. It was an underlying, undercover mindset that filtrated through all that I thought and felt. This mindset was like a dark thread that wove into each part of my life and relationship with God. So to change it, I made the choice to make my mind new.
New means: made or established for the first time, fresh. And "re" means again. Therefore, I had to renew (make new again and again) my mind and align my thoughts and feelings with the truth of the Word of God. Mind renewal gets us to a place of faith in which we can receive healing from the Lord.
Mind renewal is not striving. Mind renewal is a responsibility that belongs to us. Step up and renew. Then step into a new realm of faith that is birthed naturally when our mind is made new with a fresh perspective. Make your mind like the minds in the garden of Eden-before they entertained sin which set into motion the negative, self-reliant, limited thinking pattern of this world. And then welcome a transformation like you've never known before.
"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2 NIV
"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom."
2 Corinthians 3: 17 NASB
It is amazing to consider how much time I used to think about, dwell on, care for and be concerned regarding what others thought of me. Ug. It's almost embarrassing. The truth is that, when my Christian foundation was formed in a works-based church, I spent a lot of mental energy and time focused on myself. That's right. Myself. That's what having a sin-focus does. It causes us to put more weight on ourselves and what we are doing (or not doing) than on who God is on the inside of us.
Our identity gets all twisted up with the patterns of this world and a running dialogue cycles through the mind with thoughts such as: What's important to the larger group? What's popular? What's acceptable and unacceptable? What will make me stand out and be noticed (in a bad way) and what will allow me to blend in and remain unnoticed? Be accepted? This paradigm could even be seen as staying small for the sake of "humility". But this is a false humility because, you see, the entire focus is on self, which is actually the highest level of pride. Notice the ploy here. Clearly, the enemy would love nothing more than for us to remain mediocre and never bother stepping into our true identity and unique purpose in Jesus.
Once I learned of the true, loving, good nature of God, I was freed up in so many ways! I was freed to receive healing; freed to live by faith in a good God; freed to love differently (with grace and truth, not judgment and criticism--sure signs of legalism). But more than that, I was freed to go from living in obscurity to living out my destiny! To live in obscurity means to be shrouded in or hidden by darkness (which in my case meant focusing mostly on my flaws and short-comings). Obscurity is also living in a way that is not clearly seen or easily distinguished (from the crowd). As much as my heart pulled on me to fulfill a bigger purpose and dream, my subconscious drug me down and kept me insignificant.
Trust me when I say breaking away from that mentality took effort and intentionality on my part. First, I heard the word in faith and I repented (had a change of mental and spiritual attitude). Second, I studied the word exactly as written, not filtered by the voice of another. Third, in faith, I received from the Lord all of his promises, which are yes and Amen! Next, I invested in myself to be discipled, choosing mentors who knew truth and Kingdom of God principles like I had never been taught before. They confirmed our experience of the Lord's heart for healing and wholeness on this earth. Then, I learned about inner heart healing and how Jesus would meet me in all my wounds and display his love like a banner in the midst of painful memories and experiences. And finally, I renewed my mind each and every day by walking with the Holy Spirit as my trusted friend. I activly worshipped God in my home and heart. Little by little, I broke off the old, insecure, small person I had been and stepped into who God made me: a woman with a heart to help children and families, bringing them hope, encouragement and breakthrough.
So who has the Lord made you? Those gifts are there whether you turn to Him or not, yet it's undeniable that what He's given is intended to be used on this earth, to bless Him, yourself and others. Romans 11:29 says, "For the gifts and calling of God are without repentance." But He's so good that even his kindness leads us to repentence. God always makes a way to the path of your destiny.
What lies are holding you back? When you step into destiny, it happens today, now, one scary step at a time until the fear fades to nothing. Eventually, you'll become who the Lord made you from the beginning of time and look back at your old self, wondering who that was. Your life is not about your works. But it is about God's love for you and your understanding of it. The good works you'll do will come effortlessly as a genuine response to His profound love.
"For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them." Ephesians 2:10 NKJV
Walk, my friend. Walk forward, even in the pain. The movement brings breakthrough. Seek growth always, and the Lord will meet you there. He never disappoints.
